Blog with Maya

A stinging behind my eyes The unshed tears  I will not shed them For I'm  well over the pain I often stand apart And watch my emotions  broil Wondering  at times Why my eyes still  feel the strain Who should I  trust My eyes or my heart Do my eyes reflect my heart Or independently cry I thought I was well over The  angst and the hurt But it creeps on me  unawares At moments,weak ,unguarded At a touch of genuine solicitude From another unbidden At a look of true concern that says What happened to you, my dear I look upon these feelings  The metacognition empowering I am my own lab rat I search for meaning within Telling myself I am strong  I pull  up my spine  Push back my shoulders  And hold my head high

Can you  love another so much So much that it hurts to say And then you just block him And act  with disdain  You think it is wrong  You feel defiled So you bury deep  This feeling of love  From the corner of your eyes  You keep him in sight  Yet avert in hate If he chances by Delude yourself  As long as you  can The day will soon come  When you face the demons  in your heart  Can you really sort The right from the wrong  It is all in your heart  You are the best  judge!

I have changed I know I have  changed When I look at the world And don't try to hide My eyes have  grown  bolder The spark in them stronger My steps have a bounce Heart is singing I was not thus A few days thence But now I have learnt The right  way to live I know where  am going I know what I can do The caterpillar  has morphed Into a beautiful  butterfly  blue!

When I walk to the end of my driveway And stand looking  at the open fields At dusk, after  the sun has gone down The fresh cool breeze caresses my cheeks I think to myself, there can be no heaven better  than this Oh, sweet God,  I cannot thank you enough! When I come home after a long weekend  And look at my plants to see They have all grown an inch taller with tender green leaves I touch them in wonder and think to myself There can be no surprise  better than this God, you created this  for me! A smile from my mother  A word from my father Sisters standing  always near No woe could touch me then I look back on my childhood and think God, what blessed life you have given me! I hold my baby close to my heart And he sleeps secure in my arms  With a smile on his lips I look adoringly at him and think There can be no fulfillment  better than this God, my heart swells with love ! My student puts his little...

There is a place  Deep in my heart Where I keep things hidden  Away from my eyes Foolish things done long ago Wrapped in a foil of  youthfulness Life's choices wrongly made Covered in blissful  ignorance  Some images indelibly  etched That surfaces at certain times I may not be proud of them But they made what I am I keep another place to counter it The happy, peaceful and good times Carved lovingly in my mind's eye The shutter quick to capture it A day from school  When my teacher  praised My grandfather gruff  Showing his grace A random fleeting scene Of two ladies sitting at a kerb Knitting and chatting in the winter sun  Oblivious to the morning  rush Of  love and fortitude unblemished  That forever my heart regales I polish them to brilliance  To bring out when my morale fails.

I looked at my mother long and deep  She broke into peals of laughter  And asked, who are you  Amma, look at me,I am your  daughter  She smiled  at me happily  Then giggled, with one hand over her mouth  Saree askew, hair ruffled She joins her hands and prays with fervour Amma, where are you  I silently asked You were the pillar of our house; our multihanded  goddess You fled away leaving us this giggling happy  child Did we prove too much for you Are you  okay, wherever you are  Do you  think of us sometimes  Come back for a while and look at us We miss you now so very much!

With a rush of adrenaline Quickening my pace I briskly walked Through the sun dappled ways The city lay Like an unknown maze Roads alluring; unexplored Mystic; teeming streets I stood at the crossroads Alone; eyes a-twinkle The day stretching ahead Promising adventures and thrill Ignoring the stares Of the loitering few A newcomer in the city Sticking out in the milieu I walked with a swagger Recklessly buoyant Footloose and fancy free In the unknown land Unknown streets Unseen faces Even the little shrubbery Seeming exotic;diverse I peeped into shops Enjoying the sight Of wares enchanting Smells cloyingly sweet The mid-day sun Beating on my face I soon got tired And turned to go home Ahead loomed the metro I darted up the steps At the ticket counter Checked for the place Was it Jubilee Hills? I thought it was so Took the ticket Proceeded to the gate Reaching the station I looked around Hoping I was right Yet not really vexed I ca...