Blog with Maya

I heard a rumbling  in the distance  The train came hurtling through In the hum that arose in its aftermath  People jostled by A small crowd of women At platform  number  eleven Stood their ground and gazed  Anxious and impatient  The train slowly halted And right in front of them Much to their  relief Was the ladies compartment Lugging up the bags As they clambered in The overcrowded bogie The seats were nearly full Have you ever traveled  In a ladies compartment  At the end of a long working day When you are dying just to sit If you have, you will know The kind of camaraderie  You will find in a ladies compartment Is precious  and unparalleled  The ladies act with instinct And freely offer assistance  If ever one was needed Even without  being  asked Three will sit in a seat for one And exchange  pleasantries  There will always be a few like me Lost in dreamland happily  The air there is relaxed  You can sit how you want There are no lechero

I am confused Do I want him to die Do I want him to live I half wish he were dead I would then be free Free of him Free of bonds Free to fly  and free to explore Yet  I fear  I fear the vacuum The vacuum he may leave behind Would  my heart bleed Like a scab pulled out Causing  a trickle  A trickle  of life blood I fear my thoughts  I am not evil You see, am a good soul And do not want to fall that low I convince myself that I am doing the  right thing  Cooking for him Giving medicines Keeping house  clean Though I  can bring  myself to render  Neither  love nor tenderness I guiltily  banish that tiny hope Every morning   as I wake up Go down the stairs  and check on him Will you  have  tea And wait to see  If he stirs and answers Half relieved when he groans and stirs Half  disappointed   I tell myself  I should  be  grateful Grateful  to  him for the roof over my head The food, the car, the money the comforts  I would  never harm him willfully 

When the chips are down And stagnant lies your life You reach a stage Where you introspect  You first take a look  At life scattered around  And try to make sense  Of what might have gone wrong  Running round in circles  Days spent  in confusion  Blaming  all else But now it's time to move on There is indeed a silver lining  In every dark cloud Even this ordeal Has added to your strength  Be bold  and stand tall Take that first  step Pick up the pieces This world  belongs to you  Look around  Life is with you  Claim what is yours You deserve so much  more

The man came unbidden On a stormy dark night He knocked at my door  In the dead of the night I knew him just a little I'd asked him over in jest Never thinking he would turn up In the dead of the night But he took my words literally I had told him I'd be alone He came to give me company Travelling miles to reach my home He stood at my door  Quietly smiling into my eyes Hiding my amazement I invited him inside I never ever thought  Any man would travel this far Just to give me company I mattered so little so far He was wet and dripping I offered him a towel  A change of clothes And showed him to a room I went into the kitchen  And rummaged for some food Heated it up on the quick  And laid it out to eat He did not look at the food But led me to the chaise Sat at my feet  And put his hands on my knees I  pulled up my legs with a start And sat there unmoving I had not expected this I thought of

                                                                          My child, I am so sorry Sorry for the childhood you lost Believe me when I say this I would have given my life to protect you Protect you from all the hurt you endured. I stood firm and shielded Stepped between you and the physical hurt Yet did not really give a thought To the mental anguish you fraught. Believe me when I say this I often cringe at the thought Of how I sometimes directed My own frustrations at you. My hands were hard and tongue sharp Sometimes I went out of control I cannot blame it on circumstances I am ashamed. I take the blame. I am sorry, my darling I would give my life for you Yet I did not realize then What burden your little shoulders bore Yet you love me with all your heart We are the bestest of friends You are my biggest support You are my life, my child. I am proud of the way you have grown You have strived to reach your

I am a married woman, Yet I sleep alone. I am tired and lost, Bewildered and morose! Evenings bring great fear, My heart drops to the floor, I sense thunder and lightning, I am an alcoholic’s wife! He brings out the bottle, I blend into the wall. For it is dangerous, Dangerous, to be visible! It rained,h ow it poured! Violent psychedelic were the lights, Or was it in my eyes alone? I swooned in the flood. The dinner lay in shambles, Cold, uneaten, in the casserole. I really didn’t put in an effort, I was too nervous to cook! Stealthily I climb the stairs, Let not the sleeping monster wake. I lock my bedroom door tight, As I fear for my life! I wake up with a start To thumps and kicks,y ells and dirty words, Oh, the monster has reached, Reached by my door! I huddle in a corner My eyes on the door, Hoping the wood would truly hold Hold for just this one day more! The cycle doesn’t end there, It repeats ev

Can't breathe  Can't sleep  There is a lump in her throat  That just wouldn't  go Why doesn't  he answer  The messages she lovingly  sent Her  love  She sees him online  Yet when when she starts typing He disappears from view He was always there for her  So patient and understanding Ever since they had met On facebook.com She could contact him anytime  And see him typing back This lasted one whole year The bliss was beyond words He was her whole world  She needed no one else What had happened  now God! Did he find someone  else? He stopped comin g  online   At their usual  times  He stopped reading her messages Seeming not to mind Her hands stopped in mid air Her head felt very light Her brain said it was her very soul  That had sailed out in the night He had blocked her! Oh,he had blocked her! She just couldn't believe  it That he had actually  blocked her! She fast opened her WhatsApp  Her hands all a tremble

He sat across the seat The man in the train I stole a quick glance And found his eyes on me I looked away quickly Not wanting to smile Yet his rough-hewn stubbly face Caught my fancy just fine I sat quite nonchalant My eyes glued to the window He sat there looking at me  Eyes so soft and tender I moved not a muscle I sat as still as stone Feeling my heart warm up Not wanting to break the spell Suddenly I turned my head And looked him straight in the eye My eyes bold, shot a warning Daring him to stare He moved his eyes quickly And sat looking out I sat feeling a bit lost Did I really matter so little? I did not look at him again I did not mend the thread There were loftier things in life So get over this trivial tryst He slowly stretched his legs Wearily, the journey did seem long His legs now lay on either side Close, yet not touching mine I sat in the safe enclosure My legs could feel the warmth Shou

Hi, Am Maya So happy to see you You see, when I travel My pen starts to roll A few lines here A few lines there What my eyes see around me And my heart beats to feel I put in this blog So come with me